


we can even touch the stars without fear

by beyzaljackson



Series: high school sweethearts [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, High School, Light Angst, M/M, whisper of the heart au??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 02:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18512332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyzaljackson/pseuds/beyzaljackson
Summary: i love ghibli movies and i love kaisoo,, why not bring them together?





	we can even touch the stars without fear

**Author's Note:**

> english is not my first language, pls be gentle.  
> you can find me at @kayipkahraman on twitter.

Kyungsoo likes the summer breeze slowly caressing his skin. The streets are busy at this hour but it’s okay. It doesn’t keep Kyungsoo from enjoying it.

 

Still, he fastens his steps. It’s been over an hour since he left the house to buy milk and he’s already passed his bed time. It’s summer but his mother doesn’t care, she’s strict and she has rules.

 

He quickly climbs the stairs of the old apartment building. What a shame. He could hang out with his friends who are currently outside the building, appreciating the sweet night. Kyungsoo’s mother says that he can always go out during day but it’s impossible when the sun’s up, you’d sweat even while sitting.

 

“I’m back.” He states entering the flat. He heads towards the kitchen, his parents are still there. Kyungsoo puts the milk inside the fridge and takes out the iced tea.

 

“I’d like some too.” His father sounds sleepy. They are changing the system they use at the library, his father has been working hard lately. He pours one for his mother too.

 

His book is still open on the kitchen table, where he left it. He keeps reading it realizing that after a few pages it’ll be finished.

 

Kyungsoo takes out the small paper inside the book’s cover. One week. It took him a week to finish it. It’s too much. If he wants to satisfy his parents and catch up with his noisy brother, he needs to do better.

 

Just when he’s about to put the card back, a name catches his attention, it seems familiar. Kyungsoo stands up from the table, walking towards his room.

 

“I like how you’re invested in books but you still need to sleep.” He hears his father’s cautionary tone.

 

The other books are displayed on his desk. He takes out their cards too. There. That name again.

 

“Woah. This guy really read all these books before me.” He lays on his bed, his eyes still on the library cards. _Kim Jongin. I wonder what’s he like. Maybe he’s nice._

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo wakes up to an annoying noise. He burries his head under his pillow but the noise won’t go away. He removes the pillow with a huff. Why is his pillowcase wet? Why is his t-shirt wet? Oh, right. _Fucking summer._

 

Kyungsoo spots his mother at the door of his room. She’s vacuuming. While Kyungsoo was asleep. He’s about to whine but his mother smiles at him, washing away all of his annoyance.

 

“I thought you were supposed to meet with Baekhyun?” His mother yells loud enough for Kyungsoo to hear. _Shit._ He totally forgot about Baekhyun.

 

Kyungsoo jolts out of his bed, nearly tripping over. He washes his face and brushes his teeth. After a quick shower, he puts on his black sweatpants and a white t-shirt. _There goes my hopes for a breakfast,_ he thinks as he puts on his shoes. He remembers that he fotgot to take the book just when he was about to leave.

 

Through the summer, school’s library would be open for students. Kyungsoo never misses the chance to use it. School is now a week away and he thinks he’s had a productive summer unlike his friends who keep whining how they never have the time.

 

Kyungsoo leaves the house in haste. The sun burns his fair skin, he’s gonna get all red. He hates it. He’d rather spend the whole summer inside his house unless he needs to leave for books.

 

He sees a few people on the sidewalks, holding tight the leashes of their dogs. Kyungsoo wants to stop by and pet the fluffy animals but he’s already very late and he doesn’t want to anger Baekhyun. Kyungsoo might hate to admit it but Baekhyun is indeed scary under his charming appearance. He fastens his pace.

 

* * *

 

 

“Fucking finally.” Baekhyun’s face is flushed. Kyungsoo doesn’t know if it’s the sun or his anger. He doesn’t ask. Kyungsoo sends him an apologetical look, Baekhyun rolls his eyes trying to seem annoyed. But Kyungsoo knows he isn’t. Baekhyun might be willing to murder people who annoy him but Kyungsoo isn’t one of them.

 

They walk inside the school building, Kyungsoo needs to exchange the book. Baekhyun moves towards the vending machine to buy water as Kyungsoo goes to the library.

 

The lady who works in the library is never really happy, but she’s particularly not happy during summer. Kyungsoo justifies her broodiness, he’d hate to work in summer too.

 

She doesn’t seem that annoyed when Kyungsoo asks for a book. She tells him to find the book he wants as she puts the book Kyungsoo brought back to its place.

 

Kyungsoo finds the story book he’s been searching, he brings it up to the librarian’s table. After writing his name on its card, the librarian hands it out to Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo takes a look on the book’s card, he’s the first one to have it. He feels somewhat proud. But then he opens the book’s cover and sees a name written down on the first page. Kim Jongin.

 

“Ma’am, do you know who’s Kim Jongin.?” He asks reservedly. She grimaces in annoyance.

 

“You made me mess up, good god. Maybe he’s the one who donated it.” She says without sparing a glance. Kyungsoo leaves right after bowing and thanking her.

 

* * *

 

 

“Why do you look like that?” Baekhyun takes big gulps of his water.

 

“I think she cursed me.” Kyungsoo jokes, or, hopes to. That woman does seem like a witch. Baekhyun giggles as they walk out of the building towards the school’s yard.

 

Baekhyun is abnormally silent as they sit under the shadow of the big tree. The bench faces the basketball court, a few students occupying it. Kyungsoo recognizes Park Chanyeol. The troublemaker. They share the same class. Chanyeol is really talented, like, really. He plays the piano and the guitar. He’s a decent basketball player. Kyungsoo could dare to call him cute if he wasn’t so annoying. Still, Kyungsoo being irritated by his presence doesn’t change the fact that Chanyeol is extremely handsome.

 

Kyungsoo also sees Oh Sehun, Chanyeol’s sidekick. Sehun is a year younger and since they’re on the same team, he idolizes Chanyeol in a way Kyungsoo doesn’t understand. But Kyungsoo likes Sehun. Sometimes Sehun would come to their class to see Chanyeol but would end up talking with Kyungsoo.

 

“Have you ever liked someone?” Baekhyun mumbles next to him, separating Kyungsoo from his thoughts.

 

“What?” Kyungsoo needs him to elaborate.

 

“You know, liking someone? Romantically?” Baekhyun turns to him, raising an eyebrow.

 

“No, I don’t have time for that.” Kyungsoo lies, well it’s not really a lie since his parents are strict on him but Kyungsoo hasn’t dared to feel anything for anyone after getting his first heart break.

 

It was his second year when Kyungsoo realized he was gay. The pretty boy in his class seemed more interesting than making out with Soojung. She didn’t seem to care anyway.

 

Kyungsoo thought the attraction was mutual. They spent a big percentage of their time together and they got along well. Youngjae would smile at him softly and Kyungsoo would feel his heart melt inside his chest. But Kyungsoo was wrong. Youngjae was just a really nice person. He was nice enough to not to tell people about it.

 

So, yes, for a year, Kyungsoo ignored anyone who could be romantically interested in him and invested himself in school.

 

“Why are you asking?” _Oh._  Kyungsoo doesn’t know whether the light red cloud on Baekhyun’s face is because of the burning sun of the summer or something else. “Who is it?” Baekhyun lowers his head, his flush is more visible now.

 

“You know him actually.” Baekhyun’s voice is low as a whisper. “It’s-”

 

“Hey, Kyungsoo!” Kyungsoo turns his head towards the deep but loud voice. Chanyeol is standing on the other side of the fence. “The ball got outside, can you give it back?” He smiles lopsidedly pointing at the ball next to the trash can. Kyungsoo stands up with a huff.

 

“You’ll take it yourself the next time.” He murmurs annoyedly. Chanyeol’s smile grows larger. Kyungsoo throws the ball over the fence and turns back to Baekhyun but Baekhyun is no longer on the bench, he’s running towards the exit. Kyungsoo hurriedly follows him throwing swear words around.

 

“Why did you run? Now I’m sweating even more. Fuck, Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo glances at his friend as he tries to catch a breath.

 

“Sorry I just remembered, I have to go home.” Baekhyun seems upset, so Kyungsoo doesn’t push it. He gestures to the exit with his hand and they start walking.

 

“You still haven’t told me.”

 

“Tell you what?”

 

“Who your crush is.” Kyungsoo grins slightly but his smile instantly dies seeing Baekhyun’s expression.

 

“I’ll tell you later.” Kyungsoo wants to ask what’s wrong, if he could help, but then panic fills him.

 

“Shit!” He exclaims as he realizes that his hands are empty.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I forgot the book!” Kyungsoo yells, starting to run immediately. “You go home, I’ll see you later.

 

* * *

 

 

He races back to the school yard. If he loses that book the school would forbid him from the library, he can’t risk it. Fuck. _One thing I like about to school and I’m about to blow it._

He reaches to the big garden, sweat welling on his forehead. He should have never left his house today.

 

Chanyeol and the rest of the team seem to be gone. The basketball court is empty.

 

Kyungsoo glances towards the bench that Baekhyun and he was sitting a few minutes ago. A boy is sitting there now, holding Kyungsoo’s book. Kyungsoo sighs in relief, wiping the drops of sweat formed on his forehead with the back of his hand.

 

Kyungsoo gazes at the stranger who’s wearing their school uniform. Did Kyungsoo forget the start of the semester? Why is this kid in uniform while there’s still a week for lessons to start?

 

“Is everything alright?” Kyungsoo hears a sweet voice. He didn’t realize the boy leaving his seat as he was busy with his thoughts.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You were staring at me. Is something wrong?” He’s now examining himself. “Is there something on me?” _Yeah,_ Kyungsoo thinks, _a pretty face._

__

“No, I, um,” Kyungsoo mentally slaps himself. There he is, a stuttering mess before a stranger because the stranger is good looking. “The book.” He breathes out. “It’s mine.” His voice is stern this time. The boy knits his eyebrows, he peeks at the book on this hand. Opening its cover, he takes out the library card.

 

“It says here that it belongs to the school.” He raises his eyebrows as his eyes fixate on Kyungsoo. He starts walking towards Kyungsoo with a small grin on his face. He hands the book back to Kyungsoo. “The next time you take responsibility for something that doesn’t belong to you, try to actually take care of it.” He says, leaning down to look directly into Kyungsoo’s eyes. Kyungsoo stops breathing for a while, _too close._ The tall stranger flashes another grin as he walks away.

 

After the dazzling rush of what just happened leaves Kyungsoo, he finds himself filled with exasperation. _What the hell? Who does he think he is?_ He doesn’t know Kyungsoo, yet he thinks he can blame him for “not being responsible enough” because of a moment of omission? Kyungsoo puffs his cheeks and marches back home.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo immediately takes a shower when he arrives at home. His mother watches him with curious eyes as he takes out the iced tea and heads back to his room.

 

He places himself on his chair with the minimum desire to study but he has to. School is near and he wants to be ready.

 

* * *

 

 

He doesn’t leave the house the next day, he’s had enough of outside. Instead he tries to study.

 

Kyungsoo hears the door open, it’s probably his mother. But, like every other time, Kyungsoo is wrong. It’s Seungsoo, his annoying brother.

 

“I thought you were coming later?” He asks, making sure Seungsoo understands that Kyungsoo isn’t happy about his arrival.

 

“I found someone to drive me.” Kyungsoo turns back to his study session, but it doesn’t last long, he hears Seungsoo grumble in the kitchen. Right, Kyungsoo didn’t clean the kitchen after he ate.

 

“We’re supposed to help mom with the house.” His brother is judging. Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything the whole time they clean the kitchen and cook for their parents.

 

Kyungsoo is discontent during the entire dinner, his stupid brother keeps talking about his college life and somehow it comes to Kyungsoo. They keep saying that he needs to study hard if he wants to get into somewhere good. Like he already doesn’t work harder than the rest of his friends.

 

He returns to his room, not being able to take more of that bull. His books are open before him but something else draws his attention more. He finds himself grabbing the book he borrowed from the library.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo, once again, wakes up to that annoying sound. This time, it’s his brother. What’s with this house’s habitants and vacuuming early in the morning?

 

“Get up and remove your sheets, I’ll wash them.” Seungsoo sounds unnecessarily lively.

 

Kyungsoo complies and takes a short shower after putting the sheets inside the washing machine. He’s going to take food to his father.

 

* * *

 

 

The subway station is crowded as usual but Kyungsoo manages to find an empty space. He sits down and places the food bag on the ground.

 

He looks around and sees a cat standing beside the train’s door. The cat starts walking slowly and jumps on the seats. It strecthes and stands on its hind paws to look outside the window, its fore paws on the higher frame of the seat.

 

“Hey kitty.” Kyungsoo calls out to the small animal. “I didn’t know cats were allowed here.” He smiles to himself. The cream cat probably doesn’t even care about him.

 

One of its ears is purple. It sits next to Kyungsoo as they arrive the station that Kyungsoo needs to get off.

 

“I’m leaving here, what about you?” It doesn’t answer. _Duh._ He stands up on his feet to leave the train, the small cat starts walking too. It steps gracefully on the ground before it starts to run. Kyungsoo follows hastily.

 

He follows the cat through the station’s entrance, bumping into people. But he quickly loses the sight of the cream fur ball, being obliged to wait at the red light.

 

He marches towards the library his father works in, disappointed. The building is big, Kyungsoo loves it here. He gets to read after he helps his father.

 

He starts to climb the stairs but then spots the same cat, it’s down on the road. Kyungsoo starts to follow once again.

 

He loses the cat as he stumbles across a locked door. He jumps on it, nearly losing the food bag.

 

The cat proceeds to walk on a slope. Suddenly it starts to run. Kyungsoo is tired but he doesn’t want to lose it. He ends up losing the cat though. What the fuck?

 

He’s somewhere he’s never been before. The buildings are short and nice, they all have their own small gardens.

 

Kyungsoo hears a dog bark loudly. There’s the damn cat again. It walks on the door frame at the entrance of a small house. It literally plays with the dog, annoys it.

 

The cat enters a small shop when it’s done clowning the poor dog. Kyungsoo follows the cat inside the shop. It’s a nice place filled with antiques. Small statues are all over the place. Kyungsoo observes the statue of the white horses, it almost seems real.

 

A statuette of a cat catches his attention. It has a creamy colored tuxedo, a green west inside its jacket. The red bow tie it wears is dotted yellow. Its fur is also cream, like the cat Kyungsoo has been chasing. It holds a stetson in its left paw, which seems like a human hand. The other one holds a walking stick.

 

“Are you that kitty?” Kyungsoo asks quietly, he leans down to take a closer look. The statue’s eyes are all shades of green. Kyungsoo thinks that he’s gone mad for a second, did that dressed stone just wink at him? No. It must be the sun. Kyungsoo shakes his head. It’s the sun.

 

Kyungsoo hears a muffled sound, it comes from behind the tall table next to the door. An old man sticks out his head.

 

“It’s okay. You can keep looking around the shop.” He must have realized Kyungsoo’s worried expression. “The Baron was bored anyways.” He adds with a smile.

 

“His name is the Baron?”

 

“Yes.” The man’s smile grows larger. “Baron Humbert Von Gikkingen. Cool, right?” Kyungsoo stares at the Baron. Even a statue is cooler than him. He sighs as the old man climbs up on a ladder in front of a huge clock, it’s taller than both Kyungsoo and the man.

 

The ladder shakes as the man ascends, Kyungsoo rushes to hold it still. The old man gives him another smile. Kyungsoo glances at the clock.

 

“It’s pretty.” Kyungsoo states to avoid silence. It really isn’t pretty, just a normal clock.

 

“It needs some repair.” The man hold out his hand and open his palm. He holds something that resembles to a pin. It’s a man’s head, he wears a crown. His clothing looks like it’s from eighteenth century England.

 

“What’s that?” Kyungsoo looks up to the shop’s owner with expectant eyes.

 

“You’ll see.” He flashes a cunning grin. He puts the pin somewhere inside the clock that Kyungsoo can’t see from below. He twirls the rod on the side of the clock and closes its window.

 

The lower part of clock opens and Kyungsoo sees small figures swage in harmony.

 

“Are those dwarves?”

 

“Yes.” The man turns to him, a mischievous expression spreading over his face. He points at above. “Follow the numbers, let’s see what happens.” Kyungsoo lifts his head.

 

The number eight suddenly disappears and the pin that the man showed Kyungsoo a few minutes ago takes its place. An elf girl rises above the numbers.

 

“Come up here if you can’t see.” Kyungsoo climbs the ladder next to the man.

 

“That’s a princess?” He watches in admiration, she looks beautiful.

 

“Accurate.”

 

“Are they in love?” The shop owner hums in agreements.

 

“But they belong to different worlds.” He points at the pin. “He’s the king of the dwarves. When the clock hits twelve, the elf princess needs to return to her world.” The old man sighs sadly. “Maybe the person built this clock suffered from unrequited love, who could know?” Kyungsoo feels gloomy but he quickly forgets it as the clock moves.

 

“Is this clock forward?” Kyungsoo nearly whimpers.

 

“By five minutes, I guess.” Fuck. He forgot to take food to his father.

 

“I’m sorry, I gotta go!” He exclaims as he hurries out the door. “I’ll be back!”

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo wants to punch himself. There he is, running, again. At least today isn’t as hot as the rest of the summer. As he climbs down the stairs right next to the road, he realizes that he’s just above the library.

 

“Kyungsoo! Do Kyungsoo!” He hears someone calling him when he’s about to enter the library. “That’s yours, right?” That annoying boy again. He’s on his bike this time, he extends his hand. The food bag. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen. Did he leave at the shop? The boy grins like the first time they met. “You’re very absent-minded, aren’t you?”

 

“How?” Kyungsoo can’t even form a sentence. He’s embarrased and bitter.

 

“How do you think?” He starts cycling and Kyungsoo spots that cat he followed on the back of the bike. It sits complacently.

 

“Is that your cat?” He shouts to the boy but his question gets ignored. Instead, the boy shoots him a question and enrages Kyungsoo.

 

“You’re going to eat that all by yourself?” He rides away. Kyungsoo stomps his feet in anger.

 

“Fucking idiot.” He yells but the boy is long gone and all Kyungsoo gets from that exclamation is judging looks from the people on the sidewalks. He walks inside the library even more embarrased.

 

His father gives him a questioning look but Kyungsoo laughs it off. After leaving his father with his lunch, he collects a few books to read. He takes one on hand and starts to examine.

 

Kyungsoo takes out its card and he sees the same name again. The moment he starts to imagine what kind of a person this guy could be, the image of that irritating boy pops in his head.

 

“It can’t be that dimwit!” He’s the dimwit here, he forgets that he’s in a library. He burries his face behind the books. Kyungsoo really needs to learn how to control himself.

 

* * *

 

 

It rains the first day of the new semester. Kyungsoo loves rain unlike his mother who’s been complaining ever since she woke up.

 

It smells nice outside. Kyungsoo walks slowly, an umbrella on his hand, his school bag on the other.

 

“Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun is behind him, he hurries to catch up with Kyungsoo. They chat during the short walk to their school building. They run into Chanyeol on the way. The tall basketball player seems sleepy, he probably didn’t sleep all night to play video games with Sehun.

 

Their teachers don’t care that it’s the first day, they put them through tests to determine their level. It’s a tradition in their school, the students protest nevertheless.

 

Baekhyun waits for Kyungsoo to take out his lunch box so they can go meet their friends from the choir. Chanyeol sits in front of Kyungsoo meanwhile.

 

“Do they really need these tests? I just keep taking a wild guess everytime.” Kyungsoo giggles. Chanyeol might be talented at many things but he’s not good with lessons.

 

“You know,” Kyungsoo starts, “Baekhyun is also good with guesses.” He grins slightly. “And with being wild. Maybe you two should study together.” His answer is Baekhyun’s harsh pinch on his forearm.

 

“We need to go, Minseok and Jongdae are waiting for us.” Baekhyun smiles at Chanyeol before dragging Kyungsoo out of the class. “What are you doing?” Kyungsoo just winks at him as he starts to walk outside.

 

Kyungsoo straightens his expression when he sees __him.__ So he guessed right, that boy is a student at their school. They walk towards each other but the cat’s owner doesn’t even spare a glance.

 

Kyungsoo huffs when the boy is far enough to not hear him.

 

“Idiot. Like I’m dying for him.” He is offended even though he doesn’t want to show it. Why is he offended though? They don’t even know each other. Kyungsoo doesn’t care about him.

 

He shrugs off Baekhyun’s curious expression.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t even remember why he’s friends with the trouble trio. Baekhyun, Minseok and Jongdae are still laughing like crazy.

 

“Finally, Kyungsoo realized men.” Jongdae is loud. Kyungsoo wants to punch him but any exaggerated behavior would prove them right. He doesn’t want that. And he sure doesn’t like _that guy._  He does wish that he knew his name though, it’s annoying to call him “that guy” all the time.

 

“He found that prince that he always reads about.” Minseok adds in a dramatic tone. Kyungsoo’s had enough.

 

“Keep making fun of me. I finally finished that song but I guess you won’t hear it.”

 

In his spare time, Kyungsoo translates songs for the school’s choir. He found a song that he really liked, but he’s not sure about the translation. He was supposed to show it to Baekhyun the other week but he forgot, like he always does.

 

His friends observe the paper he handed them. Jongdae starts to hum along.

 

“It’s not hard to sing, is it?”

 

“It’s great, don’t worry.” Baekhyun smiles at him assuringly.

 

The first day of school is uneventful, Kyungsoo doesn’t see the tall boy rest of the day. It’s not like he wants to anyway. He leaves his friends saying that he’ll study at the library.

 

* * *

 

 

He walks slowly on purpose, the streets are empty after the rainfall.

 

Kyungsoo realizes he’s reached the slope that lead him to the shop. He starts climbing the inclined road without realizing.

 

The shop is closed. He peeks through the window, the Baron isn’t on the table. Did the old man sell it? Kyungsoo hears a bike pass by, is it that guy? No. Why does he feel disappointed? Kyungsoo is annoyed with himself. He shakes his head as if that could help him chase away his thoughts.

 

He changes his mind and decides to go home.

 

* * *

 

 

His headphones are removed with force, Kyungsoo turns angyrily and sees Seungsoo stand behind him.

 

“You’re going to end up deaf if you keep listening this loud.” Kyungsoo tries to retrieve his headphones but his brother is faster. “Baekhyun’s on the phone.”

 

Kyungsoo leaves his seat to answer the call. Baekhyun’s voice is barely audible. He tells Kyungsoo to meet with outside his apartment ten minutes later. That’s how long it takes Baekhyun to come. Kyungsoo leave his house five minutes later.

 

He spots Baekhyun on one of the benches. His eyes are red, he looks sick.

 

“Chanyeol came up to me after you left.” Baekhyun starts, “I didn’t tell you, but I got a love letter a few weeks ago.” Kyungsoo isn’t surprised. Baekhyun is one of the prettiest people he’s ever met. Kyungsoo nods, gesturing Baekhyun to continue. “Apparently he’s one of Chanyeol’s friends and he sent Chanyeol to ask for my answer.” Baekhyun hiccups.

 

Kyungsoo wasn’t an idiot. He knew that Baekhyun liked Chanyeol, Baekhyun didn’t need to say it. He eventually found out by himself observing Baekhyun around Chanyeol. He always blushed and he would become a stuttering mess whenever Chanyeol tried to talk to him. That’s why Kyungsoo told Chanyeol that they should study together.

 

“Don’t mind it. Chanyeol’s an idiot.” Baakhyun sniffled next to him.

 

“I’m not coming to school tomorrow. I can’t, not like this.”

 

“You’re not going to take the test either?” Bakehyun nods yes. Kyungsoo hugs him tight before he send his friend home.

 

* * *

 

 

The test isn’t hard but Kyungsoo can’t stop thinking about Baekhyun. He hasn’t said a word to Chanyeol ever since he walked into the class. _How is he so oblivious?_

__

He glances towards Chanyeol, and the tall boy looks back at him as if he felt Kyungsoo’s stare. Kyungsoo knits his eyebrows and mouths at his direction. _Idiot._ Chanyeol mouths back. _What did I do?_

__

Kyungsoo turns his attention back to his paper.

 

After school ends Kyungsoo feels a hand on his shoulder, Chanyeol. He seems disturbed.

 

“Can we talk about Baekhyun?” He voice is low, Kyungsoo nods.

 

Chanyeol leads him to the backyard. They sit under a huge tree. Chanyeol starts talking, he’s unsure, Kyungsoo can see it.

 

“I just did what my friend asked me to, I don’t understand why he suddenly started crying!” Chanyeol finished his side of the story with a sigh.

 

“Didn’t he tell you why he acted like that?” Chanyeol shakes his head no and Kyungsoo wants to smash the giant’s head. “Idiot. He likes you.” Kyungsoo slaps his hand on his mouth. Oh no. Baekhyun’s going to kill him

 

“That’s a problem.” Chanyeol’s indifferent tone enrages Kyungsoo.

 

“A problem? He didn’t even come to school because he was miserable! You call it a ‘problem’? Fuck you, Park.”

 

“But I like you.” Kyungsoo feels his blood freeze.

 

“Stop joking around.” He barely breathes out.

 

“I’m not. I’ve liked you for a long time.” Chanyeol gets closer.

 

“Don’t talk nonsense!”

 

“What is it? Are you with someone?” Kyungsoo can’t form a sentence, his eyes are locked on Chanyeol’s pained expression.

 

“No, I’m not.” Kyunsoo gets up on his feet. “I need to go.” Chanyeol grabs his wrist.

 

“Answer me. Do you like someone else?” He asks quietly. Kyungsoo shakes his head no.

 

“We’ve been friends for the longest time, Chanyeol. I like you, but-”

 

“It’s not the way I want you to.” Chanyeol frees Kyungsoo as he completes his sentence. “It’s okay.” Chanyeol walks away without looking at Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo feels like he’s not able to breathe even though the air is clear. He stands under the tree for a while and starts walking home.

 

His parents are not at home. Kyungsoo slumps down on his desk. He lays his head on the cool surface, bringing his arms around himself. He doesn’t know what to do so he just sits there. And cries. His heart feels heavy.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo hears someone talk. He lifts his head, he fell asleep on his desk. It’s his mother, she’s talking to a neighbor. Kyungsoo changes out of his school uniform and leaves his room.

 

His mother asks him where he’s going but he doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have the energy.

 

He finds himself walking towards the shop again. He doesn’t know why but something about that small shop draws him there.

 

He feels disappointment fill him again, seeing that the mysterious shop is closed. He sighs as he spots that cat after days.

 

The cat places itself in front of the shop’s door, Kyungsoo sits down next to it. He’s unsure if the cat likes him but it seems indifferent when Kyungsoo starts to stroke its soft fur.

 

“You’re very grumpy, aren’t you?” Kyungsoo smiles slightly. “I’m like that too. I used to be nice, but I don’t know anymore. Maybe I’m not good enough as I think I am.” Kyungsoo hates feeling gloomy.

 

He hears someone approach but he doesn’t pay attention.

 

“Hey, Kyungsoo.” _Oh._ You guessed right. _That guy._ “Ah, he endears himself to you. He isn’t really a fan of that.” His voice is sweet. He walks closer and caresses the cat’s head. “Hey Moonkitty.”

 

“That’s his name?”

 

“Don’t you think he resembles to a moon?” Kyungsoo smiles at the sweet name. Suddenly the cat moves away from them, walking off to piss off another dog.

 

“Is he yours?” Kyungsoo asks to avoid the tense silence between them.

 

“Oh, you can’t tell cats what to do, just like you can’t tell them who they belong to.” Tanned boy smiles at his own remark.

 

“A bummer who travels around on trains.” Kyungsoo murmurs to himself.

 

“Train?”

 

“Yeah, he was on the train. I followed him from there and discovered this shop.” He smiles fondly. “This place is magical.” _I talk too much._ Kyungsoo blushes seeing the taller one watching him.

 

“You-”

 

“I-”

 

They talk at the same time, Kyungsoo blushes even more, he hates that. He starts talking again.

 

“Is the owner of the shop okay? It’s been closed for long.” He’s actually worried about the old man. He was nice, the first time they met. Kyungsoo wants to see the Baron again, and that big clock.

 

“Don’t worry, he’s fine. This place is usually closed.” Kyungsoo sighs in relief.

 

“I’m glad. I looked through the window and couldn’t see the Baron, I guess it’s sold.” He says not even bothering to hide his frustration.

 

“The cat statue? Come with me.” The taller one starts walking and opens a door on the wall next to the shop. It’s old and its green paint is falling off. Kyungsoo follows him.

 

The door leads to stairs, climbing in down, they end up on a balcony. Kyungsoo can’t believes his eyes. He can see the entire city from here.

 

“Are you scared of heights?”

 

“I love heights.” Kyungsoo does, really. He loves watching the busy city from above.

 

“Come here.” He opens another door, there are violins everywhere. They climb up the stairs this time, Kyungsoo recognizes the inside of the shop.

 

“The clock is gone!” Kyungsoo exlclaims as he realizes the big emptiness.

 

“The owner took it back, it was here for repair.” He walks towards the table and brings the Baron’s statue. He places it on the smooth surface.

 

“Here, look at its eyes.” He calls out to Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo complies. The cats eyes shine with the slight light coming from the sun. “ _Engelszimmer,_ it means _‘angel’s room’_ in german. It’s important for my grandfather.” Oh, so that’s how he knows the old man. “I guess it has some memory in him bu he never talks about it.” He smiles slightly and Kyungsoo feels all his tiredness wash away. “You can sit here as long as you want.” The old man’s grandson goes down the stairs.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s dark after the sun goes down. The only source of light is the slight gleam coming from the downstairs, he should go home.

 

He climbs down to the small chamber they entered. Kyungsoo sees the boy focused on a piece of wood, he’s trying to give it a shape. He notices Kyungsoo standing a few meters away from him.

 

“What are you doing? A violin?” He stands on the tip of his toes to see better.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Can I take a look?” Kyungsoo walks towards the table and eyes the piece of wood which is shaped as the violin’s finger board. It’s not even painted but it seems clean. “You do everything by yourself?” He asks watching around the downstairs room.

 

“Sure.” The other boy answers like it’s obvious. But Kyungsoo isn’t offended, he’s glad they’re talking. Not that he’ll ever accept that.

 

“It’s amazing.” He can’t hide his admiration. He sees a few violins hanging from the ceiling. “Did you make all these?”

 

“No, sometimes we give lessons. Those belong to the students.”

 

“One of them must be yours?” Kyungsoo turns to the seated boy. “Which one?”

 

“That one over there.” He points at the first violin. Kyungsoo steps closer to gaze at the violin which seems to be newly painted.

 

“It’s beautiful.” Kyungsoo murmurs. He notices a small cloud of redness on the tall boy’s face when he turns back.

 

“Stop that. You really know how to embarrass someone.”

 

“I just say what’s on my mind.” Kyungsoo smiles assuringly.

 

“Anyone can do it, if they’re willing enough.” He glances at the piece of wood in his hand. “I’m not even that good.”

 

“Can you play?” Kyungsoo builds up enough courage to ask.

 

“A bit.” The boy in front of him is unsure.

 

“Play for me.” Kyungsoo knows he’s pushing, but he wants to hear.

 

“No.”

 

“Please.”

 

“Then you’ll sing. I know you’re in the choir.”

 

“Forget it. I won’t sing.” Kyungsoo hasn’t sang for a while. He doesn’t know his condition and he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. But the boy next to him doesn’t seem to care, he adjustes his violin.

 

“Come on, you know this one.” He starts playing. _Oh._ It’s the song Kyungsoo translated for the choir. His notes were with him when they first met. He must have seen the pages when Kyungsoo forgot the book on the bench.

 

Kyungsoo blushes. He didn’t forget. He smiles at the tanned boy as he taps on the floor to create some kind of melody. He starts singing.

 

_I dream of living,_

_Alone but fearless._

_Secret longing,_

_To be courageous._

_Loneliness kept, bottled up inside._

_Just reveal your brave face,_

_They’ll never know you lied._

__

_Country roads,_

_May lead me home._

_Know I belong there,_

_All on my own._

_Destiny calls,_

_Motionless I stall._

_Know I can’t go,_

_Country roads._

__

_No matter how dark,_

_The world inside me._

_I’ll never stop to show a tear_

_That I shed._

_But now I have to walk so fast,_

_Running, springting to forget._

_What is lodged in my head._

__

He looks over at the violinist, the tall boy smiles at him. Kyungsoo hears foot steps. The old man who owns the shop and two other men climb down the stairs. The old man carries a cello while the other two has a bell and a lute. They sit down and join the young ones. Kyungsoo feels encouraged and continues.

 

_Country roads,_

_May lead me home._

_Know I belong there,_

_All on my own._

_Destiny calls,_

_Motionless I stall._

_Know I can’t go,_

_Country roads._

__

He claps his hands, feeling happiness fill inside him.

 

_Country roads,_

_You’re a good friend,_

_I’ll never know._

_Same tomorrow,_

_Regret and sorrow,_

_Can’t take you home,_

_Country roads._

__

One of the older men starts playing a flüte. _Where did he even get that?_ After he finishes everyone applaud each other. Kyungsoo glances at the flushed boy, he bring his violin to his chest as he smiles.

 

Kyungsoo turns back to the trio and bows.

 

“My name is Kyungsoo, thank you for singing with me!” He’s still breathless from the song.

 

“I was hoping to see you again.” The shop’s owner smiles wide. “And my name is Yongguk, I guess I never told you that?” Kyungsoo shakes his head no. “These are my musician friends.” He gestures at the rest of the small group, they greet each other.

 

“Jongin, your friend is really cute.” The man with the weird mustache grins and Kyungsoo freezes.

 

“Jongin?” He shouts at the violinist. “Your name is Jongin?”

 

“Didn’t I tell you?”

 

“No! You didn’t!” Kyungsoo sighs deeply. “I can’t believe this. Ah, the disappointment.”

 

“Why are you complaining? Why does my name matter?” Jongin sounds bitter.

 

“Sure it does! You didn’t tell me your name on purpose, didn’t you?” Kyungsoo squints at the annoyed boy.

 

“You never asked!”

 

“I never had the chance to. You always irritated me!” Kyungsoo crosses his arms. “Farewell my dreams.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“I thought you’d be someone nice.” Kyungsoo recalls all those times he dreamed about the guy who read those books before him.

 

“You’ve read too many books.” Jongin rolls his eyes.

 

“You’re the one who’s read too many books.” _You’ve read everything first._ Suddenly he hears giggles. Fuck. He forgot the musicians.

 

* * *

 

 

They walk in silence as the breeze of the sweet summer night strokes their skin. Jongin drags his bike between them. Kyungsoo breaks the comfortable silence.

 

“They were so sweet.” He really liked the old musians.

 

“You should come again some time. You’re more than welcome.” Jongin cracks a smile.

 

“You play well. The violin I mean.” Kyungsoo was fascinated, to be honest.

 

“There are millions of people that can play like me.” Jongin sighs, his eyes are fixed on the road. “I want to master how to carve out one too. Only then I can call myself good enough.”

 

“Well, still, I think you’re very good at just playing too.” Kyungsoo thinks he’s talking too much. Again.

 

“There’s a school in Italy, I hope to go there when the high school is over.”

 

“My parents would never let me.” Kyungsoo snorts but actually, he’s sad. His parents are nice people but they never let their children do anything else besides what they have planned for them.

 

“My parents aren’t really thrilled about it either. My grandfather is the only one who supports me.” Jongin halts suddenly. “I guess this where we separate.”

 

Kyungsoo tries to hide his disappointment.

 

“Yeah. My house is just there. I’ll see you around.” He smiles at Jongin as he starts walking.

 

“Kyungsoo!” He hears Jongin yell from behind.

 

“You’re really good at singing.” Jongin smiles getting on his bike. “It was a nice day. Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

 

It’s raining again. Kyungsoo leaves his house in haste. His mother didn’t wake him up. At least the rain isn’t that strong, he runs fast enough he can make it before the lesson starts.

 

Apparently, he’s not the only late one. He runs into Chanyeol on the road.

 

“Good morning.”

 

“You should run faster.” Chanyeol comments without sparing a glance.

 

“You go ahead, I’ll catch up.” Chanyeol fastens his steps. Kyungsoo stops for a while, watches Chanyeol’s back. He doesn’t want to lose his friend.

 

Kyungsoo sits on his chair, hardly breathing. Baekhyun is present today, he seems better.

 

“Why are you red?”

 

“I was running.”

 

“You were walking around with a senior last night?” Baekhyun raises his eyebrows as he quickly changes the topic.

 

“What? Who told you that?”

 

“It doesn’t matter. But it seemed like you two were together?” Baekhyun grins wide.

 

“There’s no such thing!” Kyungsoo notices Chanyeol walking towards them. Panic fills him.

 

“Hi Baekhyun.” Chanyeol’s voice is soft. “I wanted to apologize about the other day. I shouldn’t have got involved.”

 

“It’s fine.” Baekhyun sounds casual. “I’m the one who should apologize actually.” They talk a bit and Chanyeol goes back to his seat as their teacher walks into the class. Kyungsoo feels lighter.

 

* * *

 

 

“That’ll be on the test.” The bell’s ringing and the objections from the students blend together. The teacher doesn’t seem to care. Kyungsoo doesn’t care either. He leanes back on his chair, still sleepy and tired.

 

“Kyungsoo! Someone wants to see you.” He hears Yixing call out to him. The whole class becomes still suddenly. Kyungsoo looks towards the door.

 

“Jongin?”

 

“Can you come here for a while?”

 

“Sure.” Kyungsoo stands up on his feet. His friends watch him curiously, he hears a whistle from behind. He walks stomping his feet.

 

“What is it?”

 

“I decided to leave. For Italy.” Kyungsoo’s annoyance washes away and saturninity fills in. His classmates are sticking their heads out from the door, trying to hear them.

 

“Come with me.” He leads Jongin to the roof. Kyungsoo always liked there, it’s quiet and calming. It still rains.

 

“Why did you come to my class, they’re all going to make fun of me now.” Kyungsoo curses at himself when he sees Jongin’s smile fade away.

 

“I’m sorry. I wanted you to be the first one to know.” Jongin’s voice is low as a whisper. Kyungsoo feels his heart getting heavier.

 

“They might think something’s going on between us.” Kyungsoo wants to throw himself off the building. He really needs to filter himself. He feels Jongin tense next to him.

 

“My father accepted with one condition.” Kyungsoo relieves as Jongin changes the subject. “My grandfather knows someone there. I’ll work as an apprentice for two months and if he thinks I’m talented enough, I’ll get to go to the school.” Jongin sighes deeply. He watches the clouds dance on the sky. “My father probably thinks that I’ll fail. I’ll prove him wrong.” His expression is stern. Kyungsoo feels something shift in him as he stares at Jongin.

 

“When will you leave?”

 

“Immediately. I have a few things to take care of though.”

 

“I’m glad.” He was, really. Kyungsoo was happy that Jongin is able to do what he wants. “You’ll carry out your wishes.”

 

The silence is there again, only this time, it’s disturbing.

 

“Well-”

 

“I-”

 

They start talking at the same time but none of them continue. The sky is clear now, the rain stopped.

 

They walk towards the handrails. They can see the city from there.

 

“I hope it’s exactly like how you imagine it.” Kyungsoo wants to encourage Jongin. They are friends, right? Yet again, Jongin never said they were friends. They just sang a song together. Does that even mean something? But Jongin said he wanted to tell Kyungsoo first. That has too mean something, right?

 

“They said it’s an old city. There are a lot of people who work on violins there.”

 

“That’s nice.” Kyungsoo smiles as he lift his head towards the sky. “You already set a path for yourself. I feel way behind you.” He smiles gloomily.

 

“I first noticed you through the library cards.” Jongin starts talking after a while. “We came side by side a few times at the library but you never seemed to notice me.” Kyungsoo’s eyes widen as Jongin gazes at him admiringly. “One day I gathered enough courage to sit next to you.” Kyungsoo feels his cheeks getting warmer. “I had to read a lot to improve myself, that’s why my name is always above yours on the cards. I’ll work hard in Italy and play your song.”

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say, he’s scared that if he starts talking he might burst into tears. He just nods.

 

“Stop pushing me!” They hear someone yell behind them. It’s Kyungsoo’s classmates. Kyungsoo walks towards them, he’s sad and now, angry. They run away screaming and laughing but Kyungsoo doesn’t go back to Jongin. He wipes his tears as he climbs down the stairs.

 

* * *

 

 

He leaves the dinner table earlier than usual. His moms calls him as he prepares to get out. He tells his parents that he’ll meet with Baekhyun.

 

Kyungsoo feels disgruntled. Jongin left. He didn’t even get to say him goodbye after their talk at the school. He misses Jongin. He shouldn’t. They barely knew each other and it was for a week. Is it normal? Missing someone who’s been in your life for only a week? But it feels like he knew Jongin his entire life. Kyungsoo doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. He just wants this weight on his chest to disappear.

 

He meets Baekhyun half way and they lead to his house. Baekhyun’s mother greets them and tells them that she’ll bring tea as they set off to Baekhyun’s room.

 

“He said he’ll be back in two months. “

 

“You have some sort of an attachment between you guys.” Baekhyun takes a sip of his tea. “I think it’s cute. His face changed colors when you took him to the roof.” Kyungsoo sighs at the memory, it seems so distant now. He tries to change the subject.

 

“Still, I’m way behind him and we read the same things.” He folds his arms around himself. “He knows what he wants to do with his life. I still have no idea.”

 

“Huh. Handsome and confident.” Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows.

 

“Don’t talk like that. You know I’m sad.”

 

“Why? You like him. He likes you too, it’s obvious.”

 

“I don’t think so.” Kyungsoo whispers. Baekhyun takes a deep breath.

 

“He told you something concerning his future, and he told you that first. Not to his friends who probably know him for a long time. You.”

 

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

 

“You said it yourself, he realized you way before you two actually met.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Sometimes I don’t understand if you’re stupid or you just pretend to be.” Baekhyun takes a bite of the cookie his mom made. “And so what if he’s so accomplished? You’re the most talented person I’ve ever met. You have a great voice, you’re better than the rest of us. Everyone in the choir thinks that.” Kyungsoo feels tears filling his eyes.

 

“He said there are a lot of people like him”. Kyungsoo talks after a while.

 

“What?”

 

“That’s what he said. He’s going to push his limits. He’s right, that’s what I should do too.” He feels lively all of a sudden. “I’ll write a story.”

 

“What about the school?”

 

“I can take care of it.” Kyungsoo stands up. “I’m going.”

 

“How do you plan to take care of everything?”

 

Baekhyun’s question stays unanswered. Kyungsoo says goodbye to Baekhyun’s parents and leaves hastily. His heart is lighter now.

 

Kyungsoo halts as he spots Moonkitty on the road. He disappears through the bushes.

 

“Muta! Muta! Mom, Muta ran away again.” Kyungsoo hears a little girl call out to her mother.

 

 _Muta, huh._  Kyungsoo continues walking.

 

* * *

 

 

“You wish to use the Baron as the hero of your story?” The statuette stands on his usual spot on the table.

 

“If you let me, of course.” The sweet owner of the shop made tea for them. “Jongin told me that it means a lot to you.” Yongguk starts laughing.

 

“You can use him, but I’ll ask for something in return.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“I’d like to be the first one to read it once you finish your story.” Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say.

 

“But-”

 

“You should say yes.” The old man’s expression is soft.

 

“I think it’s better if you don’t. I don’t think it’s going to turn out okay anyway, I wouldn’t want to waste your time.” He laughs again.

 

“They are never really that good, our first works. You shouldn’t think about that. If you expect much, you’ll be disappointed.” He stands up putting his tea cup on the table. “I want to show you something.” He observes a shelf. “Ah, there it is. Here, take a look.”

 

He hands Kyungsoo a small, black rock. There’s a crack on the rock, it’s green.

 

“Look at the green part.” He flashes a light behind the crack.

 

“It’s beautiful.” Kyungsoo sounds amazed. The green dances with blue and yellow inside the small crack.

 

“It’s called _‘beryl’_ , it’s raw emerald.”

 

“Then it must be really valuable.” Kyungsoo hold the rock tighter.

 

“It is.” The old man smiles lovingly. “Jongin and you are just like this stone. You’ll be so much better once you’re cultivated. It’s not the same, playing a violin and writing.” He places himself back on his chair. “But what’s important is to find the gem inside you and appreciate it. You need to work hard for that. The ones that are deep inside are always the purest ones. And maybe you have other gems in you, but you don’t know it yet.” Kyungsoo lifts his head, the shop owner winks at him. “Don’t mind me, I talk too much sometimes.” Kyungsoo smiles at him, but perishes fast.

 

“I’m scared of not finding anything there.” Kyungsoo whispers. “Inside me, what if there’s nothing?” He sighs deeply. “I still want to try. I promise that you’ll be the first to read my story.”

 

* * *

 

 

_“Come on, follow me! His voice is stern. The wind is merciless and Kyungsoo is scared to fall._

_He stands tall on a rock, the rock floats on the sky. His fear dies quickly. The Baron is there, he’ll protect Kyungsoo._

_The clouds change shapes with the strong wind. He feels someone holding his hand._

_“Let’s catch the wind!” Kyungsoo is scared. His fears come true. They’re falling. Fast and then slow. They’re floating, just like that rock. The Baron. He helped them float._

_He grabs Kyungsoo’s hand tightly. They fly further, higher, faster._

_“It wasn’t that hard, was it?”_

_It feels great, riding the wind._

 

* * *

 

__

Kyungsoo wants to start working on his story immediately. His feet lead him to the library his father works at. He wants to study gems, the old man’s emerald caught his attention. He takes short notes from the books.

 

He switches from one book to another. A picture draws his attention. A man with a violin. Kyungoo takes a deep breath. No. He can’t waste his time on feeling sad. He needs to catch up with Jongin. _I need to make him proud of me._  

 

He burries his thoughts deep inside his mind and continues reading.

 

He’s so engrossed in what he’s doing, he doesn’t even realise someone sitting across him. There’s a familiar smell, a perfume. It smells like a garden of flowers. Kyungsoo lifts his head.

 

“Jongin?” His voice is low. “I thought you already left?”

 

“My grandfather told me that I could find you here.” He smiles gently. “I’m leaving tomorrow.”

 

“Oh.” Kyungsoo feels warmer.

 

“At least we have time to say goodbye, right?” Jongin goes back to read the book he’s holding. Kyungsoo stares at him for a while, then lowers his eyes to his notes. He can’t cry here.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m sorry, I can’t come to your house.”

 

“It’s fine.” Kyungsoo mumbles. Jongin sits on his bike. He holds Kyungsoo’s hand, his touch is enough to put Kyungsoo on fire. “We won’t be separated for too long, but I’ll miss you.” Kyungsoo can’t help but let the words leave his mouth.

 

“It’s just two months.” Jongin stares at their intertwined hands.

 

“I’m sorry, I keep complaining.” Kyungsoo whispers. “I’ll work hard while waiting for you.”

 

Jongin looks at him, he seems like he wants to say something. But he doesn’t.

 

“I need to go.” Jongin squeezes his hand one last time and then leaves. Kyungsoo stand on the sidewalk, alone. His heart feels heavy inside his chest.

 

* * *

 

 

_“I had a fiancee called Louise.” Baron sounds sad. “We lived away from each other. The boy who sculpted us was working as an apprentice at a sculpture store. Louise and I were happy. T he young boy sculpted us as the memory of his unrequited love. But one day-”_

__

Baron’s voice gradually leaves Kyungsoo and he hears his own name. Someone’s calling him. Baekhyun? Kyungsoo lifts his head.

 

Shit. He forgot that he was in class and got carried away with the story again. The teacher glares at him.

 

“Kyungsoo!” He gets up on his feet quickly.

 

“Yes sir?”

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Nothing, sir. I spaced out for a while.”

 

“Pay attention, this subject is important.”

 

“I apologize sir.” He sits down, embarrased. He was never scowled like this before.

 

* * *

 

 

“Do you think you can get into a good university with these grades?” Kyungsoo wants to punch his brother. It’s none of his business.

 

“Then I won’t go to a university.”

 

“Excuse me? I guess you’re under the assumption of life being easy? It’s not!” His brother raises his voice. “You think a simple high school diploma will be enough?”

 

“I know what I’m doing. I don’t need your advise.” Kyungsoo bites back.

 

“Stop giving me stupid answers! It’s all obvious! You can’t do anything with your grades!”

 

“You go take care of yourself.” Kyungsoo had enough and he wants to throw a book to his brother. “Leave me alone!”

 

“Kyungsoo. Seungsoo. Stop fighting.” They were so invested in fighting, they didn’t even hear their father walk in.  

 

“He doesn’t listen to me!” Seungsoo complains instantly.

 

“Follow me to the kitchen, we’ll talk. Kyungsoo change out of your uniform.” They both walk out of his room.

 

“Is your brother telling the truth?” His father sounds calm as they are seated.

 

“I’m not ignoring my classes.”

 

“You were saying just before that you won’t go to university.” Seungsoo butts in.

 

“It’s because you said I wouldn’t be able to get into one!” Kyungsoo feels anger filling up his veins.

 

“Seungsoo, ı want to talk alone with Kyungsoo.” They hear Kyungsoo’s mother walking inside the apartment. “Oh honey, you’re back. Can you come here, we need to talk about Kyungsoo.”

 

His mother sits next to his father.

 

“Kyungsoo, can you tell me what’s more important than your lessons?” His father doesn’t sound angry. Kyungsoo keeps mum. “We’re interested in you’re concerned in.”

 

“You’ll know when it’s the time.”

 

“Son.” His mother’s tone is soft. “Can’t it wait?”

 

“It can’t. I have to finish it in three weeks.” Jongin will be back in three weeks. _I have to._  

 

“At least tell us what you’re doing. You can’t expect us to be understanding without saying anything.” His mother seems worried. “What is it that you can’t even tell your parents about?”

 

The silence fills the small kitchen. Kyungsoo wants to cry. Kyungsoo wants Jongin. He always feels better when Jongin is around.

 

His father starts talking again.

 

“I’ve noticed you working on something at the library.” He looks at his wife. “ I think we should respect it.” His father turns back at him, a smile on his lips. “Let him decide when he wants to tell us.” Kyungsoo watches his father with disbelief. His grades were really low and understanding was the last thing he expected.

 

His mother grabs his hand.

 

“Sometimes life offers us many choices.” She smiles assuringly.

 

“Yeah.” His father continues. “ But at the end of the day, you should follow the path you desire the most. It’s not always easy to chose a path.”

 

“You can’t blame anyone else if the things don’t turn out the way you wanted them.” His mother pauses for a second. “And please, be present when we’re eating together.” Kyungsoo nods and walks back to his room. He feels okay.

 

* * *

 

 

_He feels out of breath. His legs hurt, he’s been running for too long. He can hear the Baron, the cat tells him to keep running. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how long he can keep it up._

_He stops at a fork. He doesn’t know which way to go. He doesn’t know what to do, which way to chose. What if he choses wrong and fucks it all up?_

_A yellow light beams inside one of the walls. It goes out when Kyungsoo runs towards it. He can’t catch the light no matter what he does._

_There’s a blue light on the ground, further up on the road. Kyungsoo takes it inside his palms. It’s like a heart, beating slowly. The light fades away and Kyungsoo opens his palms. A dead bird._

 

* * *

 

__

His head hurts as he wakes up on his desk. He’s too tired to carry himself to his bed. He just lays on the ground.

 

The books are everywhere. Seungsoo would be furious, but he isn’t here. He moved out.

 

Kyungsoo grabs the book with the green cover and half opens it, The guy with the violin. Jongin. Kyungsoo feels his heart hurt.

 

He misses Jongin. He misses his smile, the way he played the violin, the warmth of his hands. Kyungsoo never felt like this before and now, he doesn’t know how to deal with these foreign feelings. The only thing he knows is that he’s tired.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo slowly opens the shop’s door. The old man is in his rocking chair, he smiles instantly once he sees Kyungsoo.

 

“Ah, come in! I fell asleep.”

 

“It’s over.” Kyungsoo’s voice is barely audible. “I finished it.”

 

“I’m glad to hear that.” Kyungsoo takes out the papers that he binded together as the old man walks towards him.

 

“You’ll be the first one to read it, like I promised.”

 

“It seems long.”

 

“Can you read it right now?” Kyungsoo doesn’t want to sound pushy, but he’s been challenging himself for so long and he needs to know what Yongguk thinks. “I’ll wait for how long it takes.”

 

“But you works really hard for it, I should read it meticulously.”

 

“You can stop reading if you don’t like it!” Kyungsoo is trembling. “I’m sorry, I’m just really nervous.”

 

“I get it. Come here, wait near the fire. You’ll get cold outside.”

 

“If it’s okay, can I wait downstairs?”

 

“Do as you wish.” The old man places himself back on his chair.

 

Kyungsoo climbs down the stairs, the table Jongin was working on is empty now. He walks out to the balcony. The city seem nice under night sky.

 

He sits down on the ground, Moonkitty starts rubbing on him.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t remember how long he’s been waiting there. The door opens and the light hits him.

 

“There you are.” The old man greets him with a genuine smile. “Thank you, it was a good read.” He hands out the paper to Kyungsoo.

 

“Please. Tell me what you actually think. “ Kyungsoo isn’t happy with his story, he knows it’s no good. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it, I know I couldn’t conclude it right.”

 

“It was a bit messy, yes. Just like Jongin’s violins.”

 

Kyungsoo feels a heaviness on his chest. He failed. He worked so hard and failed.

 

“You work hard and you have the talent. You don’t need to rush it. You won’t believe the progress you’ll make in the future if you keep writing.” The old man tries to encourage him.

 

Kyungsoo knows that he’s right, but he can’t keep it in anymore. He can’t stop the tears running down on his cheeks. He starts crying violently. Everything comes at once. His half measured story, his low grades, his parents, the constant pressure. And Jongin. _Oh, Jongin._ How much he misses him.

 

The old man squeezes his shoulders.

 

“It’s getting colder. Let’s go inside.”

 

“It’s not enough to desire something to accomplish it.” Kyungsoo breathes out between the hiccups. “Jongin improves so fast, why can’t I? I had such a hard time writing and I was so scared. I was so scared of failure.”

 

“You like Jongin, don’t you?” The old man smiles softly. Kyungsoo nods sheepishly.

 

* * *

 

 

Yongguk made chicken soup, they’re eating silently. Kyungsoo feels better, crying his stress out helped.

 

“Jongin was like you too.” The old man starts talking. “He wanted to finish his first violin right away. The haste doesn’t do any good.” He hums as the takes another sip.

 

* * *

 

 

Yongguk pours them tea after they finish eating.

 

“Where were we?”

 

“You found the Baron at a cafe, when you were a student in Germany.”

 

“Ah, yes.” The old man seemed spleenful. “I tried really hard to convince the owner to sell it to me but he didn’t accept. He said that the Baron had a wife, we didn’t have right to split them. The Baron was waiting for the Baroness as she was being repaired. I didn’t push it.” He takes a sip of his tea.

 

“After me, my girlfriend convinced the owner to sell both of them. I had to return home and I took the Baron with me. I asked my girlfriend to keep the Baroness safe until I return to Germany. They would come together when we did. But I couldn’t keep my promise, I couldn’t find her when I went back.” He takes a deep breath.

 

“It’s sad isn’t it? We didn’t get to see our beloved ever again, me and the Baron.”

 

Kyungsoo feels tears well up. The old man stands up from his chair and takes something from the shelf. He hands it to Kyungsoo. _The emerald._

 

“You should keep it.” He smiles but Kyungsoo can see the traces of tears on his cheeks.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo feels lighter as he gets off of Yongguk’s car. He keeps glancing at the stone in his hand.

 

His mother is there when he arrives home.

 

“Are you aware of the clock?”

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.” He bows to his mother. “I’ll be the neat and hardworking student I was before.”

 

“I guess you’re done testing yourself.” His mother raises an eyebrow, a small smile is placed on her lips.

 

“For now.” He smiles walking towards his room. He stumbles into bed as soon as he changes his clothes. He sleeps instantly, two months of fatigue falling on his shoulders.

 

* * *

 

 

He wakes up early, it’s nearly dawn. He feels alive, finally being able to sleep really helped. He opens the window to take in the fresh morning air, it’s cold.

 

Kyungsoo looks down towards the road, between the bushes on the sidewalk. He’s not sure if he’s actually awake or still sleeping, because he can swear that he saw Jongin.

 

He rubs his eyes violently. It’s Jongin. He’s waving at him, calling him downstairs.

 

Kyungsoo leaves his room at once. He puts on his shoes hastily and climbs down the stairs.

 

 _Jongin._ He’s there. He’s smiling at Kyungsoo.

 

“Are you surprised?” He was grinning, as usual. “I returned a day earlier.”

 

“It’s not a dream?” Kyungsoo mumbles. Jongin laughs loudly. Ah, how much Kyungsoo missed the sound of that.

 

“Here, get on behind me.” Jongin points at his bike as Kyungsoo tries to warm his hands. “Wait, take my jacket. Don’t get cold.” Jongin throws his jacket on Kyungsoo’s shoulders.

 

“I’ll go get mine.”

 

“We don’t have much time!” Jongin grabs his wrists.

 

Kyungsoo places himself behind Jongin.

 

“I missed you so much. I was about to yell your name but then you showed up at the window. As if you felt that I was here. Weird, right?” Kyungsoo leans his forehead on Jongin’s back.

 

“I missed you too. It still feels like a dream.” He inhales Jongin’s scent. It’s still the same, _flowers._ “How was Italy?”

 

“Different than I’ve heard.”

 

Jongin cycles for a while before he stops on the side of the empty road.

 

“We’re here.” A hill. Jongin took him to a hill that you can see the entire city from above. The city was still asleep, covered in fog. The birds were singing. “It’s my secret place.” Kyungsoo turned to Jongin who was already watching him with a fond smile. “You said you liked heights.”

 

Kyungsoo felt his heart melt inside his chest.

 

“Look.” Jongin points at the sky. “The sun is coming up. That’s what I wanted to show you.” He keeps talking after a while. “My grandfather told me what you did while I was gone. I couldn’t help you.” Jongin sounds upset. “I only thought about myself and left you.”

 

“No. I did it for you.” Kyungsoo blushes at his own words. “I tested myself and I’m happy about it.”

 

“Kyungsoo.” Jongin seems troubled now. “I know it hasn’t been long but I feel really good around you. I like being around you. Um, I-”

 

“It’s okay. I feel the same.” Kyungsoo interrupts, his voice is low. Jongin smiles wide. Kyungsoo wraps the jacket around them. “It’s getting colder.” Jongin enfolds Kyungsoo gently.

 

Here, in Jongin’s warmth, Kyungsoo feels good as he’s never felt before.


End file.
